Every second weekend December, I take a new hunter deer hunting. I hunt the same farms, in the same county, with the same landowners. Year after year, we stick to the same program, literally: Through the National Deer Association’s Field to Fork program, we go to the range, we learn about deer behavior, we hunt, we shoot mature does, and we butcher deer.
And yet, somehow, I learn something new every season. Not in the classroom, but from the hunters who trust me and other veteran hunters to show them the ropes. And while all the new hunters run through the same drills, they each take away something different from their experience.
That’s why I sat down with just seven of the many folks I’ve shared deer camp with over the years. Here are a few key details about each person, who are my coworkers, my buddies, and my family members. These interviews have been edited for space and clarity.
- Jake is 24 and a civil engineer from Louisville, Kentucky.
- Ashley is 27, lives in Salt Lake City, and is OL’s associate gear editor.
- Ann is 33 and works in marketing in New York City.
- Cathy is 34, lives in New York City, and works in media relations.
- Arc is 36 and lives in Arkansas. He works in retail.
- Laura is 40, lives in Seattle, and is Outdoor Life’s gear staff writer.
- Peter is 40, and a former Marine who works in tech. He splits his time between Denver and New York City.
OL: What first appealed to you about deer hunting?
Arc: I came into hunting from the food aspect to start. I always liked butchering meat. And I’m kind of cheap. So the idea of getting primo meat was certainly motivating, at least initially.
Peter: It was an exciting opportunity to get closer to the conservation-side of gathering meat. For me, the act of hunting itself is less of the draw. It’s a method to get closer to the acquisition, to the whole part of the food chain. I think it’s important for people who do enjoy meat to understand where it comes from, and this is a journey of mine that I wanted to do.
Cathy: The leading motivation was access to sustainable meat. I think I would never go hunting for something that I wouldn’t be keen to eat. I grew up eating geese and venison that my friend’s dad hunted. I’ve been fishing a bunch, and it’s the same concept — I understand the means for catch and release, but I’m more of a fan of catch and take it home. Having access to something that you know is good quality and fresh is really interesting. The added layer of knowing that you went out and worked for it yourself was a very cool concept.
OL: What was your biggest personal concern about shooting a deer?
Ann: I actually didn’t feel that much nervousness about hunting and killing a deer as much as I felt nervous about handling a gun properly and safely, and executing a clean kill. My experience with guns has been so intermittent throughout my life. We’ve gone skeet shooting in the past. I got my concealed carry in Missouri when I lived there. But I’ve never actually owned a gun. I’ve never used a gun regularly. I’d thought a lot about hunting. We’ve talked a lot about it, you and me, and about your experiences in great detail. So I had visualized that experience a lot more. I love to overthink about a topic. So I’d already done a lot of overthinking on certain parts of the hunt, but not the gun handling part. Once I felt confident in my shooting skills, though, I felt elation. I felt a huge lift off of my chest, my shoulders. When we got into the stand the first night, I felt way more comfortable. I felt very ready.
Arc: I don’t know how many people have watched six different videos on how to gut a deer and how to skin a deer before they actually get out there. So in retrospect, I probably recognized I was reasonably well prepared for the situation, other than the fact that I was nervous around firearms.
OL: Did you have any expectations about how you wanted your hunt to go, or what you thought it would be like?
Laura: It would be really hard to overstate the extent to which the whole thing, the whole deer hunt and the idea of a deer hunt, was completely outside of the world that I typically live in. So I didn’t have any kind of visual for what it would look like. I don’t think there was even any kind of a media representation of what a deer hunt might look like that came to mind. So when I agreed to go, it was with this idea in my head that I was just going to suspend the idea of expectations. Just let the experience wash over me and then figure out what I thought about it on the other side.
Arc: I wanted to shoot a deer. That was really clear to me. I wanted to shoot a deer and I wanted to harvest meat. It was just a question of, how will I feel afterward? That’s really the thing that was in the back of my mind. I thought, Well you clearly love it, let me go try this. There was a little bit of that. And there was a little bit of like, well if everyone’s doing it, I want to try it. I want to do the fun stuff, too. But I was unsure about what killing an animal of that size was going to be like.
OL: I anticipated most new hunters would grapple with this concept of killing an animal, especially one as big as a deer. But that didn’t really seem to be the case. Why do you think that is?
Laura: I think because I eat animals and because I’ve had venison before, the act of shooting an animal didn’t feel as big of an emotional thing to me. I’ve in essence killed things before because I ate them. So that’s done. We’re not breaking new ground here. I think that felt like one moment in the larger process of fully participating in the act of procuring your own food and seeing what that was like. And probably, holding a gun and shooting a gun felt like a bigger thing to me because, you know, it can kill anything. That felt like a big deal and feeling the gun go off — that felt really different to me than anything that had happened before. But don’t think I was overwhelmed specifically with feelings of like, This will be the first time I have ever killed something.
OL: Was anything particularly challenging or unsettling as you approached that weekend?
Arc: I’m pretty good at most things I do. Often I do things because I like doing them and I get good at them, and that’s why they’re fun. So I don’t like being bad at stuff. As an adult, it’s really hard to try something new and be bad at it. Hunting was a little intimidating. One, there’s a bunch of gear but, two, a lot of people have been doing it for years by the time I was nearly 30 and trying to get into it. It’s tough putting yourself out there and failing — and knowing that you’re going to fail. I know now that’s part of it. Most deer hunters aren’t successful every time they go out. But early on it was like, Is that because I’m not good at this? Or is this normal?
Jake: When you do something new, you’re going to pay down an ignorance tax. I didn’t even know what I didn’t know. And when we got to the blind, it was kind of fun to observe my first mentor, John. He was like, “Which way is the wind blowing? We’re probably going to want to face this way. We’ve got soybeans over here, but I can see this trail looks like it could be good for crossing.” And he’s looking at all this stuff. And I’m just thinking, All right, where do I sit down?
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OL: We crammed a lot into one weekend, from range time and group dinners to classroom education and butchering. To me, the calmest moments were just hunting. What stands out in your memory about that wait?
Laura: Each moment was so different from every moment that had come before. Which doesn’t make any sense because you’re sitting in a deer blind and like, nothing is happening. But it really felt like every time a twig snapped or a squirrel ran out, the tension was really high. And then the light started to change and you get the sense that your moment is passing. The whole thing was strangely riveting for something that had so little going on in it. So it made me feel like I was in the moment more, which sort of stops you from having expectations about what is to come. If anything, I think I was starting to feel that it would be sad if a deer that would be a good one to try to shoot showed up. Because I was kind of enjoying myself and it would seem a shame to leave this nice moment sitting in the deer stand too soon.
Ashley: I was eager. I was getting nervous because we could hear shots from other properties and other areas. And I was like, That can’t be good, right? Like, they’re scaring off the other deer or it’s loud, or the deer aren’t going to stay in this area. So I was getting a little nervous that it might not happen. And that was our last sit opportunity. So it was down to the wire.
OL: Do you remember your state of mind once you saw a doe in range, and it came time to shoot?
Ann: I didn’t want to be hasty. I told you, “I want to be comfortable. I want to make a good shot more than anything else.” So I was fine waiting for that group of does to get in the best position possible for a shot. I didn’t feel pressure to shoot when I didn’t feel comfortable. And we did get that shot. That was very cool. I felt like I took a good shot and I felt good about that and I felt very calm about it.
Jake: I remember we talked about how sometimes a deer will run after the shot, and you’re gonna have to keep an eye on it and make sure you visually track where it goes — like behind that specific tree. Because things are gonna look different from up here compared to when we climb down. And I was kind of nervous about that, because I’ll lose golf balls out of bounds, and I’ll be like, Shit, I have no idea what tree it was behind. It’s a lot easier to just drop a golf ball than to drop a deer somewhere and say, “Hey it’s over here!” So I was very pleased when I took the shot and the only thing I saw — what I thought I saw — was its feet come up in the air. And then I didn’t see it at all. Then I saw the other deer scatter. I was like, Dang, like I definitely hit that right? And, and that’s exactly what it did. It just fell straight down.
Cathy: I had a good look at the vitals. Then I could feel myself get really nervous because then it was super real. We’d taken a big leap from, Oh my gosh, we’re in the blind this is happening to, Oh my gosh, the deer is here and this is your chance if you want it.
Peter: It was adrenaline filled. I was nervous because it was a good opportunity. I’d been out five times, it was my fifth time hunting and my first time seeing anything that was a target. And so the opportunity was there, and I was like, Don’t screw this up. Obviously any time you take a shot like that, and especially if it’s against a live target, there’s a lot of adrenaline. And obviously I don’t handle a lot of adrenaline these days, for the most part. So really, it was a physical reaction.
Ashley: I was excited, but nervous. I was nervous about missing. I really didn’t want to hurt it. I wanted to kill it instantly.
OL: What do you remember thinking after the shot?
Ashley: I wanted to kill it instantly and that’s exactly what happened, like all four hooves were in the air and that was a huge relief. I didn’t have to hurt it or track it or go find it. I definitely was giddy after the shot because I saw that the deer was out and that’s why I was really excited. Like, I immediately started laughing.
Laura: My first concern was that I had somehow [screwed] it up and shot the deer in the wrong spot. And either the deer was going to just totally get away or was suffering. I worried I had done something wrong in the way that I executed the shot, not that the shooting of the deer itself was wrong. So then when we got down and walked over, and you said you could see the air bubbles in the blood on the ground and that I shot it in the right spot, I was like, Okay, I didn’t screw this up. Okay, great.
Ann: I started doubting everything the minute it was over. After the doe disappeared into the woods I lifted my head off the rifle and realized that it was done. Then the anxiety started. That was probably the most anxious I felt in the entire weekend. It was the waiting and not knowing if I had correctly done one of the two main things I was very worried about.
Arc: It was almost certainly an adrenaline dump. I remember hours later, come mid-morning, I was exhausted. And not because I’d gotten up early, but because of the way you get exhausted when you’ve used all the adrenaline in your body.
OL: How did it feel to recover your deer?
Ann: I was elated. Just absolutely elated. That was a huge high. I felt emotional but I didn’t have any tears or anything. It was just pure joy. But I also once I saw her, and even with my second deer this year, I was like, All right, well there it is. What do I do now? Like, What do I do with my hands and my arms?
Cathy: I knew I was going to be uncomfortable with the recovery and gutting process. As we approached my deer, I was like, This is the part where I’m also gonna feel like I’m not contributing or having an authentic experience because I don’t think I’m gonna really be able to participate. So that was the part that made me anxious as we got closer to it.
Laura: It felt fairly process-driven for me to follow the blood trail. But when I saw the deer lying on the ground I had a momentary sense of confusion. Like, What is that doing there? I don’t know if I expected to need to go farther or what, exactly, but it was a moment when I realized, This landscape is different now because of something I’ve done. It looked a certain way, I’ve acted, and now it looks this way. That felt very different for me because typically when I’m out in nature backpacking or camping, the goal is not to impact the landscape. Leave no trace. It felt really new to be in a situation where you were supposed to be impacting the landscape. It felt very dramatic to see a dead deer. They’re big lying on the ground, and to think, That is there because of an action you took. You made that happen.
Arc: Your dad showed up on a Gator and I just remember how excited he was. Like, Congrats it’s a super big deal. That was a juxtaposition to you, who was excited and made me feel good, but your dad was clearly putting out dad energy and excitement, and congrats everywhere. And I thought, Oh, this is a thing to celebrate. This is your first deer, you should be celebrating. He really helped make it fun and make me feel more accomplished about the whole thing.
OL: We blood-trailed Ann’s second deer in a big group. She’d made a good lethal shot, but the blood wasn’t always obvious. What was tracking that deer like for you?
Peter: I thought it was really interesting. In media a lot of times it’s like, Oh, there’s a bent blade of grass here, and someone is half-jogging through the forest as they track. But when you get down to it and really think about how it should be done, it’s a very slow, methodical process where you are confirming situations. You’re in your OODA loop: Observe, Orient, Decide, Act. That’s a thing the military taught about how to understand an amorphous problem state. So, cycles: Finding a blood spot and then everybody fanning out and then you find another one. You go forward and you’ve got somebody in the back with top level vision looking to see if the doe had bedded down anywhere and was getting ready to bolt. It was exciting, although I would’ve preferred not to do it in the dark.
Ann: For my first deer, I ended up just kind of crouching down and putting my hand on it for a while, just soaking it in. And I did that briefly with this deer when we found her. I kind of wish I had done it longer. But there were so many people with us this time. Finding my deer was a serene, surreal moment the first time. This time there was more urgency to the matter since it was hot out, and I was conscious of other people’s time.
OL: Was there anything the hunt you didn’t care for?
Ashley: I was surprised at how much field dressing bothered me. It was mostly like the smell that I was not comfy with, we had nicked the stomach. I did end up putting the blood on my face so clearly I wasn’t that uncomfortable, but it seemed like the thing to do. Karli was excited about first blood and I’m down for a good time. And I’d seen deer being butchered before and never been that squeamish, but I think just being in the thick of it myself and having to cut things out was a little bit more than I bargained for.
Jake: The butcher scene. That was out of control. And the worst thing is, it was right when the Jeffrey Dahmer show was huge on Netflix. I walked out to the garage and there’s a deer hanging, and your dad has the plastic sheets drawn everywhere. And I just hear this Sawzall going off. And I’m like, Holy crap, what is wrong with you all? It’s not hypocritical, like I’m also going to eat it. I killed the thing. But it was like, Whoa. That’s pretty intense. If I were to do it [instead of take my deer to a processor], I don’t know if I’d go the power tools route. I think I’d leave those at home.
OL: Did you have any regrets?
Jake: I guess people have all sorts of emotions when it comes to killing their first big animal like that. I definitely respected it and I’m going to use all the meat. And I wouldn’t just go around jumping out of my pickup truck to knock down another deer. I didn’t feel like, Man, I regret doing this. It was not that. I was like, This is part of the game. It’s what you do.
Ann: No. I was on cloud nine for weeks after that and I told a lot of people about it. The whole weekend felt surreal and profound. I had been thinking about hunting for such a long time and then it all happened so quickly. But it all happened just perfectly, actually, and it felt like an incredible experience. I never anticipated having that.
Arc: No. I had told myself beforehand, Hey, there’s a 50-50 shot that you’re gonna do this and like it and there’s a 50-50 shot you may not like it. I don’t know if that was true, but I told myself that to help me get over the idea that I was going to kill a reasonably large animal. In retrospect, I was actually very okay with it. And I probably should have known that given I’d already gone rabbit hunting. But it was a useful tool to make sure that was one less thing I had to think about.
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OL: What role did the Field to Fork deer camp play in your weekend? In other words, how important was it to have other new and veteran hunters around?
Ashley: I respond well to a classroom environment and getting to talk through things with people. I was really impressed with how much emotional checking in was going on. That has not been my perception of hunters at all. So I thought that valuing how new hunters were managing the thought of killing something, maybe for the first time, I thought that was really respectable and probably helped a lot of people.
Cathy: Rick [one of the landowners] rolling up in the four wheeler was the perfect icebreaker. It was a reminder that this is supposed to be fun. Like, this is not supposed to be this heavy, gory, difficult moment. And I understand why it is and why it was for me, but I almost needed an outsider to come in and hit the refresh button. And once I started swapping stories with the other first-time hunters, that’s where I got a little more excited and we could sort of process it together in a more exciting way, versus just like being in the field with your two friends and being like, So the thing that’s in front of us, that’s dead is because I killed it. And it’s a very different emotional experience. Like it felt less celebratory in the moment, at least for me as a first time hunter.
OL: How did your friends and family react to your decision to deer hunt?
Laura: I was lucky that the only person who gave me the “Poor Bambi” quip, quite literally, was my mom. And that was it. Every so often her Bay Area upbringing pokes its head out and that was one of those moments, as it turned out. I was surprised otherwise when I told people about it. People were very impressed that I had done this. Even though it felt to me almost like my hand was being held the entire time and that this opportunity was given to me, other people seem to see it more as Laura has — I don’t want to say conquered the wilderness, but maybe Laura has experienced the wilderness on this really visceral level. Especially from other women. Other women in particular seem to think this was a very, very cool thing to have done. I live in an area that’s very anti-gun, but hunting-neutral to the point of forgetting that hunting exists. And so it was interesting to see what people’s reaction to my hunt was, and people were in favor of it.
Ashley: My family has a lot of hunters in it and they were all really excited that I got a deer. They were all kind of surprised. I think everyone kept mentioning, “You as a kid, we never would have thought that this is the path you would have taken to coming back to Missouri to hunt deer and kill animals.” It’s fun to be in a community that understands and appreciates your accomplishment, but also makes it a big deal because you did it. It makes it more special that I grew up around these people and they never expected it from me, and they were super stoked when it happened.
OL: It’s been at least a year since your initial hunt. Do you think about your first deer often?
Jake: It was all I could think about for the next month.
Ashley: I have my doe skull stuffed with dried flowers sitting on my mantle. It’s very cute. I look at it all the time and think, You know, what a fun experience. And my empty freezer makes me excited to go on another deer hunt in Texas this November.
Arc: Certainly once a year. I’m still in the situation where I can remember all the deer that I’ve shot. I can still count them on my two hands. And the first deer hunt, I remember that scene where that buck appeared just running a dozen does ahead of him, one of which I ended up shooting. To go out there on your first hunt and see such action is, in retrospect — I marvel at that more. I also think a lot about the first deer I got by myself. It was way more nerve wracking to be out there alone despite, at the time, having probably shot two or three deer with someone else in the stand with me.
Ann: I think about it all the time. I’ve texted you three or four times throughout the last year just saying like, “Hey, don’t forget about me this fall. Take me on another hunt.” I knew immediately at the end of the weekend that I wanted to do it again. But I also felt like, How could I ever beat the first experience? It was so incredible that I almost set my expectations lower for my second deer hunt. Because it was too good the first time I actually worried I would taint the memory by going again. But I also didn’t want that first hunt to be a pure one-time experience. I wanted a larger range of hunting experiences. I thought maybe it wouldn’t be as nice and tidy as the first time, and it wasn’t, though it was still great. And I think that’s the true hunting experience.
A Note on Hunter Recruitment
There are two common arguments against recruiting new folks into the hunting community. The first is that we already have enough hunters which, as we’ve written before, is patently untrue. It’s also pretty selfish.
The second is that weekend learn-to-hunt programs — like the condensed version of Field to Fork these hunters been through — don’t actually retain new hunters. In other words, it takes years to effectively help someone learn to hunt so they can do it independently. One weekend trip does not a lifetime license buyer make. This argument is backed by research and has more merit.
What it doesn’t always capture, however, is what the late outdoor writer Craig Dougherty called “venison diplomacy.” Dougherty, an old-school deer hunter who provided me with a place to hunt when I lived in New York City myself, used homecooked meals and gifts of venison to spark conversations with nonhunters decades before the R3 movement. It was a chance, he always argued, for hunters to extoll the joys and conservation benefits of hunting. In an era where the nonhunting public is increasingly voting on hunting bans or the constitutional right to hunt and fish, venison diplomacy matters more than ever.
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So even if one or more of these folks never hunt again, they’ve had at least one positive, indelible experience with hunting and hunters. We’ve shared the lifestyle we know and love with them. They’ve shared their stories (and their deer meat) among their own social circles from coast to coast. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
If you’re interested in participating in a Field to Fork event as a mentor, hunter, or volunteer, you can do so here.
- Read more about Laura’s first deer hunt here.
- Read more about Ashley’s first deer hunt here.
- See Instagram stories from Ashley and Laura’s first deer hunt.
- See Instagram stories from Arc’s first deer hunt.